suddenly once again

suddenly
there you were
once again
like the last time
and what I said
I didn’t say
and what I did
I didn’t do
and then you felt
what once you felt
and things were as
they might have been
if suddenly
I had
one more chance
once again

Damaged Goods and Discrediting Women

I’m reblogging this for two reasons: one, because what M says should be heard, and two, in memory of some women I’ve known whose voice M has become.

m's avatarthe liminal life of m

I’ve now lived completely clean and drug free for 15 months. 1 and 1/4 years.

It was just about a year ago I started my first “fearless moral inventory” of myself. I started with a simple last of my values, what I hold dear as moral principles. I inventoried my morals. Then I inventoried myself and compared the list. One of the most startling things I uncovered in that process was how often I would be silent in the face of terrible injustices and then get high to deal with my own cowardice. Not to be too hard on myself there were times where in spite of varying states of inebriation and drug-influence I did still manage to do the right thing. But over and over and over I turned away. I did nothing. I made excuses to be silent and be “safe.”

I can’t live a sober life and be…

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