the stairs, the stairs: for Steve

five flights of them
counting down, then up
the wall you touch
the railing
someone suggested a cane
a dog
as if you hadn’t thought
of those things
you who were always
a beat or two ahead
now it’s the things discarded
emptying the apartment
sorting out the pictures
“no one cares about
your vacation pictures”
the traveling over
too difficult alone
there is so much
one can’t see
so many things
a blur
you are not rude
if you don’t say hello
you just can’t distinquish
their faces
it all comes down
to what you lose
and you lose so much
these days
except your will
that stubborn strength
your laugh
in fate’s face
the stoic solo
erect in the wind
and braving the stairs
those five flights of stairs
each day

replay 2

there come those times
in the day at night
when you replay moments
adjust positions
fine-tune dialogue
edit in your favor
those words
you shouldn’t have said
and you think yes
this is the way
it should have might have
played
and a different life
than the one you’re living
causes that lump
that tear
there

an empty spot

boats glide by
on the sea
the sun hot
on my neck
kids play football
on the lawn
beyond the bench
where I sit
a dog rolls over
sunning his belly
and a group of men
build a fire
to roast kebob
though there is peace
in the air
yet there is still
an empty spot
where your hand
should be

in retrospect

is how I’m best remembered
present tense often
not easy to bear
especially here
outside my natural element
which is not to say
I won’t have another glass
of whatever they’re pouring
wherever I am
before moving farther
down the line
letting memory
take care of itself

lifting a burden

coming home late
after a stop at The Belfast
to my own bottle of Irish
and thoughts of yesterday
today
hope for tomorrow
I toast the ghosts
hovering in corners
ice cubes bump shoulders
the overhead fan twirls
I take another book
from the shelf
there my friends from China
a tavern apart
and 1300 years
much to discuss
lifting a burden
from deep in the heart