It’s been ages since I looked
so long in a mirror
as I did today
contemplating shaving
the grey stubble
on my chin
my cheeks
and wondered
how I came to be
this one
I set out
so long ago
to be
other writing
following Wang An-shih at Lumen River
the gulls swoop
catching pieces of simit
thrown from the ferry
by young couples
out on holiday
and I watch the water
separating my city
from two continents
here
somewhere inbetween
what was
what will be
and the boat
moving through this strait
lights up
a weary heart
across the floor
the cat
chases a ball
across the floor
the bell tinkles
he rushes forth
oh how easy
to chase a ball
across the floor
fickle wind
the wind blows
my heart
east west
north south
oh fickle wind
leave this old heart
alone
standing in the kitchen: for Chuck who would understand
eating dinner
listening to Steely Dan
while standing
in the kitchen
the rewards
of a solitary life
this long night
the candle flickers
a last breath
on this long night
of empty glasses
and a restless cat
some truths
there are some truths
best left
to face
before the sun
rises
and the call
to prayer
reverberates
in the air
even coffee
there are places
some mornings
where the mind
wanders off to
that even coffee
can’t bring it
back
like the baby
rest you head
she said
here
in my lap
and sleep
like the baby
you never were
in dreams: for Johnny
you come in dreams
so many nights
reminding me
of our life
together
blueberry pie
Fanner 50s
model planes
Fort Apache
the LIRR
museum trips
Saturday matinees
at the movies
the time we were thrown out
for cracking peanuts
in the shell
the floor littered
around our feet
your closet floor
White Castle
2am breakfasts
at the Golden Coach
your grin
when you had a winning hand
at poker
the boy scouts
Troop 150
those 5 mile hikes
to find potatoes
in a farmer’s field
building your fence
in the backyard
of your first home
the barbecues
Christmas morning
the shaving kit
for hot lather
you gave me
the year I had my beard
and the tears
in your eyes
when you said goodbye
and the tears
in my eyes
upon waking
dear brother
of mine