reading old notebooks
rediscovering
who I was
on the way
to becoming
who I am
other writing
the other side of loss a lifetime ago
there you are
that black hair
that touches your waist
swaying as you walk
side to side to side
the guy though
by your side
here in Izmir
lacks the swagger
of a youthful me
no long hair
blowing in the breeze
or Fu Manchu
framing the grin
so he’s not me
she’s not you
just a lookalike
four decades later
and thousands of miles
on the other side of loss
a lifetime ago
that ongoing carnival
the mind
alive
restlessly searching
the past the present
here there
everywhere
a Beatles’ song
all that overdubbing
until the image sought
lost
in that ongoing carnival
of memories
parading through
my mind
in the Turkish Kitchen at the airport having breakfast, Istanbul, Sept. 29, 2016
she leans in
to see the phone
his thumbs command
the keypad
there are no words
spoken
between them
just eyes glued
on the screen
not once
on each other
telling fortunes: for Altynai
there’s a horse
and hearts
a wedding dress
a bird
possibly a stork
an open road
power love travel
all possibilities
this that
here there
you me
wishes granted
in a coffee cup
and life
for a minute or so
maybe even forever
different
than before
bleeding inside
a dream
reflecting reality
you
beautiful distant
me
bleeding inside
a match not made
you always looked
like you had something else
on your mind
and I always looked
like I had somewhere else
to go
a match not made
in heaven
or earth
living the wrong dream: from a line by mi amigo Chuck Guest
you wake
in a strange bed
to a voice unfamiliar
calling you
to breakfast
of runny eggs
and sour milk
in your coffee
you do not recognize
her or the rooms
you appear to be living in
this
you soon realize
is the wrong dream
you have awaken
to
talks after midnight
your name
for me
was different
as were our talks
in the hours
after midnight
#FULLMOONSOCIAL: beyond reach
there you are
illuminated
remote
in the heavens
while I below
my wine cup
raised
to you
to her
both
beyond reach
of my arms
Leonard Durso 