were tinged
with sadness
even when
he smiled
with occasional flashes
of anger
at what
could only be called
life
this
I grew to understand
came from reading
three newspapers
a day
other writing
the cat, my arm
the cat
wraps himself
around my arm
his only constant
in a world
of changes
the unknown
future
just outside
the door
**fullmoonsocial2015: into memory
you would appear
in dreams
on this full moon
as always
beautiful
but distant
leaving me
trickling
blood inside
and as I rise
from sleep
the moon fading
from sight
like your ghost
into memory
of what was
is still
Friday night, Istanbul
there’s an Irish band
possibly The Waterboys
on the sound system
at a bar
named after
a city in Ireland
though no smiling
Irish eyes
at the tables
around me
this being Turkey
no Irish whiskey
in bottles
here
though I am
pacified
which is more
than I should
expect
but pleased
to accept
so very far
yet quite near
home
acceptance
is knowing
what you can do
for as long as
you can do
it
no respite
sleep
when it comes
is no respite
from thoughts
of you
midnight at the hotel bar in Alsancak
funny to hear
Si & Gar
lost in America
while found here
in Turkey
so many years
later
whaddya hear whaddya say: watching Jimmy Cagney
one forgets
how graceful
he was
acting with every part
of his body
that dancer training
coming into play
the quintessential tough guy
chip on his shoulder
the old one two
too smart
for his own good
never totally bad
but always
that Irish heart
glowing
love for the girl
on the right side
of the tracks
and he
always from the wrong
part of the city
that hitching
of his shoulders
just before
he carries on
always dying
in a blaze of gunfire
or the chair
pretending to be
yellow
as a favor
for his childhood pal
Pat O’Brien
the priest
even though
his character
had no need
of redemption
he took
whatever punishment
or justice
that came his way
with the same
tilt of the head
those eyes
defiant
the hint
of a smile
on his lips
forgotten pictures
I came across
some pictures
that were not
thrown away
all that you
were
all that you
became
through my hands
they fell
where they now
belong
ironing shirts: 10:00am, August 6, 2015, in Maltepe
a simple act
stroking cotton
smoothing wrinkles
the chore
that follows
laundry
coffee laced
with Bailey’s
Erroll Garner
on his piano
the cat
on the couch
a breeze
through open windows
domesticity
here
on my corner
of the world