a presage that the wind
will rise
stirs my soul
an image
there
before my eyes
a smile
upon my face
other writing
talking with my father on Father’s Day, June 21, 2015
here
thousands of miles
away
and many decades
past
I still talk
with you
hoping
in what remains
of my heart
you hear
the words
I never said
in the little time
we had
together
hanging pictures
all day
today
the walls filled
with memories
and now
a glass
of whiskey
to wash away
this feeling
of loss
and ease these ghosts
into the past
where they belong
drums in the night: 2:15am in Maltepe
there it is
the drum beat
a reminder
to wake
to eat
before dawn
and for reasons
of my own
eat two eggs
fried sucuk
and bread
an atonement
for what I did
and didn’t do
a small offering
to whatever faith
I have
on penance: for my Joes
their day nears
and I hear
my grandfather say
as he lay dying
from Parkinson’s
Sweet Jesus
this is some penance
you gave me
and see
my father’s eyes
when no one else
was looking
the weariness
the sorrow
of the unforgiven
and here I am
far from the home
they tried making
older than either
ever were
and blood
of their blood
with penance
still left
to pay
fantasy movies
there are scenarios
I go through
each starring you
fantasy movies
in my head
leaving me
stranded
somewhere
between
hope
and despair
a longing in the heart
is it age
guilt or regret
that robs sleep
of its peace
to leave
a longing
in the heart
why sleep
I sleep
to see you
again
in these dreams
in these dreams
they come
family friends
in places
so long ago
comforting enough
to resist
awakening
when knowing
only in these dreams
will all of them
be there
cake
it’s not
making it
through the day
that’s difficult
but
getting up
in the morning
the rest is
as they say
cake
Leonard Durso 