your name

popped up
in conversation
like Marley
it foretold of ghost
memories
of Christmases
though these
firmly rooted
in the past
and it’s not
even December
regret fills
my heart
this morning
as I turn
the page
on my desk
calendar
another month
soon another year
slips away
from what was
could have been
to what is

listening to Billie Holiday

body and soul
that voice
brings back memories
of dark bars
Alvin swaying
John Woods’ eyes
closed to some thoughts
he could not escape
and Henry
and secrets
he cannot say
earlier we sat
with Julian pouring rye
into our steins
of draught beer
at the Blarney Stone
cornbeef and cabbage
upper west side
and that voice
haunting our dreams
where oh where
amid the ghosts
of days past
she is there
here
as night falls
and my glass
is filled
and refilled
death will come
to us all
but damn
her voice
keeps it at bay
and they can’t
take that
away
from me

dreams of Lyon Place

I’ve been sleeping
lately
looking for a dream
the place
familiar
my dog there
and my father
though neither knew
the other
both having lived
decades apart
my mother is cooking
I can smell her sauce
simmering
my grandmother
is kneading dough
for her cavatelli
Johnny and I
both get a piece
to roll
in our hands
before eating
my father stands
holding the dog’s leash
and before their walk
he pats my mother
on the ass
and says
that’s why
I married her
she giggles
like she always does
at that joke
and though it should be
Charlie
taking the dog out
it is my father
his white shirt sleeves
rolled up
my grandmother sings
some Neapolitan song
Harry is there
laughing
George Robert
my sister Theresa
is coming
later
with the kids
a holiday
maybe
or just Sunday dinner
at two o’clock
Uncle Mike
from New Jersey
is there
my cousin Carolyn
Aunt Mary too
and Uncle Frank
watching Westerns
on TV
though he was dead
long before
Uncle Joe
with his cigar
in mouth
is dealing cards
Aunt Bernie Cousin Betty
are setting the table
Uncle Dominic
is mixing gin rickeys
Charlie is reading
The New York Times
on the back porch
my Grandfather
picking tomatoes
in the backyard
and suddenly
all the people
I’ve loved
are in one place
one house
on Lyon Place
and we will sing
my mother will dance
to Lou Monte
Calypso Italiano
George will know
all the words
and everyone
will laugh
the whole day
long

listening to Ella & Louis

it’s Gershwin’s birthday
Chuck tells me
so I listen to
Ella & Louis
singing They All Laughed
a decent red blend
from a Turkish winery
my feet up
those Polk speakers
doing their duty
in my living room
and no movies
this Saturday night
in Izmir
stuffed eggplant
Turkish style
sent over by Seçil
and I’m pleasantly full
getting numb
in the cheeks
and letting my mind
go
for you see
you can pronounce either
any way you want to
but kiddo
there are memories
worth preserving
and music
takes one there
Ella’s voice
Louis’ trumpet
to whomever’s listening
They Can’t Take That
Away From Me

Hearts of Stone

listening to
Southside Johnny
this morning
and remembering nights
of whiskey
and albums like this
long ago
these songs
can’t revive
those feelings
memories
lie dormant
a lifetime ago
and here
on my balcony
the sun brilliant
in the sky
Tahin will soon
drive to the bazaar
with me along
for the ride
and later
I will listen
to Joshua Bell
Sarah Chang
fresh figs
pears peaches
on the table
peanuts too
another world
I live in
far from whiskey
and the need
to dull
or heighten
the pain

memories of you: for K

there was a woman
on the train
who kept brushing
her long long hair
tossing it back
over her shoulder
the way I’ve seen
you do
sitting in your house shirt
in your bedroom
the same motion
before you would blow
a kiss
my way
suddenly
I am lost
in memories
of you

unpacking memories

opening boxes
separating items
these memories
of an eventful life
in my hands
soon to be placed
on shelves
while music plays
from decades ago
and though I thought
I was safe
from pain regret remorse
there is no escape
from memories
in one’s hands
outside of boxes
laid bare
like one’s heart
decades ago
decades ahead
the here and now

walking along the shore

sea breeze rustles my hair
friends share a laugh
on a bench
water, cold water
for sale
mussels & rice
on the half shell
skateboards & bikes
two men asleep
on the nearby grass
this stroll
soon a memory
of my life
in Kadiköy
filed away
with things
worth remembering
overshadowing things
to forget