Steinway Street

Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: addendum: CODA: The Phone Calls

/ zdunno03 / Leave a comment

CODA: The Phone Calls

you try to tell them what you’re doing
only they’re not listening to what you’re saying
just listening for clues
as to why you’re not seeing them any longer
how to explain
this stalling of time
as you regroup your resources
after all you’ve lost
all you’ve walked away from
so you tell stories of shoplifters
amusing incidents of customer relations
of the holdup and the gun
waved in your face
and though you try to tell about the people
how could they understand anyway
insulated in their age
their positions in life
how could they understand how these kids
these young people
are changing you
not the mind because that was changing anyway
but the heart
that was the surprise
and the walls
where are the walls when you need them
but these ladies can’t hear
one understands the people not the job
one understands the job not the people
and the third understands nothing
the ears were deaf long before you started talking
you think Jane would understand
then think no
she would just listen
then walk away blank as before
women
you say to the shot glass
have never been my forte
and the sadness starts to settle in again
another shot
another wasted phone call
another staring at the printed page
life goes on
and you go with it
writing and reading and watching the light
on the Empire State Building
turn off
and thinking
I must hold out longer
she will come
she will come
so you close your eyes
take a drink
and listen to the clouds
fall asleep on the couch
and wake with the wind in your face
sometime near morning

Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: addendum: The Glasses

/ zdunno03 / 9 Comments

The Glasses

are gone
you discover that in the morning
on your way to the subway
when the street looks blurry
and you remember a sign
First Avenue
and think
they’re somewhere on First Avenue
and feel slightly sicker than you felt in the shower
when you realized that not only were you still drunk
you had to be at work in 45 minutes
there is no sympathy from the girls
they giggle and shake their heads
and when you ask for something with dough to eat
Julie brings back MacDonald’s animal crackers
and then proceeds to eat half of them
Zaida looks pained
but eats a few too
and Luz could give a damn
you’re left with 4 cookies
that lousy coffee
and Stacey who comes in at 2 to gloat
you wonder if this is what poetic justice is
especially after that tirade in the bar
about the youth of today
you know your ex-wife would say
see why I married someone boring
and you think yeah
yeah I see
though not so well
without the glasses
and thank whoever’s listening there’re no trade-ins
and beg your favorite ladies
to please not take advantage of an aging fool
you also swear to give up drinking
but know your oaths lately are not to be trusted
and somehow someway
the day ends
you drag ass to the subway
and go home to bed
to sleep like the baby
you never were

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: Morning Raid

/ zdunno03 / 2 Comments

Morning Raid

they fan out through the store
as if on a search and destroy mission
these warriors of the retail war
feign and attack
knock off a pair of sneakers here
a pair of ladies heels there
or if the defenses are too good
a can of saddle soap and a pair of socks
something to take back behind their lines
a victory is after all a victory
and this is beyond hostility
now it’s down to economics
and that’s where they hurt you the most

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: Vaudeville

/ zdunno03 / 10 Comments

Vaudeville

you say watch the floor
and they both look down and ask
why, is it moving
or they hold out a balloon for a kid
and when he reaches for it
they let it go to sputter through the air
and laugh as the kid’s smile melts away
or when Steve asks them to unload everything from his car trunk
they pack his spare and jack in shoe cases
and watch as he unpacks them in the store
they howl at each other’s antics
and you watch thinking
this is the Little Rascals grown-up
or perhaps the Little Rascals taller
would be better
and when Jack’s brother joins them
one does think of the Three Stooges
they will climb in a box and kick each other around
or move the safe on an unsuspecting manager
or clip off the tips of the paper cups by the water cooler
or tell as many bad jokes as you’ll stand for
before you walk away
then follow you to tell a few more
Zaida watches Ish’s attempt at Costello
and shakes her head thinking
such a waste
Ish continues though
with Jack as straight man
even sticking his face in an ice cream cake
for something resembling an effect
and even Gerry can feel superior to that
how can someone respect themself
Luz asks
and do that
you don’t know
Zaida doesn’t know
Stacey stopped asking the question
Julie just wants to know where the ham in her sandwich went
and Ish toys with a water gun
thinking dark thoughts concerning Jack
life is one secondhand routine after another
and maybe if one does enough
another movie will come on the screen
a second feature
so to speak
and what will his role be in that
one wonders
if there will be a role for him
at all

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: Voids

/ zdunno03 / 4 Comments

Voids

Stacey says oh fuck
and writes in Zaida’s name as cashier
Julie explains how her last void wasn’t really a void
but a non-sale
there are times you think they’re competing
and other times when you wonder if all days will be like this
Stacey says it’s because people keep changing their minds
Julie explains it’s easier than doing refunds
but somehow
somehow you think there should be a Miss Void contest
and if there was
you’d put your money on Stacey
with a few bucks on Julie
to show

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: The Window

/ zdunno03 / 5 Comments

The Window

holes keep popping up everywhere
they just won’t leave the shoes alone
if it’s in the window
it must be better than what’s on the shelves
and even size 10s try to cram into the 7s on display
Mike goes crazy
don’t sell out of the window
he says
don’t let the slobs near my window
but they descend anyway
where’s this
they ask
pointing to a shoe and knocking over what’s on the cubes
where’s that
what size is it anyway
you got it in 8 1/2
and Mike chews the carpet
the hours spent
the pride felt
the beauty of it all
gone
and he wonders if moving the counter would help
or perhaps barbed wire
or a mine field
maybe Ish could rig something up
maybe perhaps

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: Zaida & Ish On Break

/ zdunno03 / 6 Comments

Zaida & Ish On Break

they move around each other
two kids on a first date
tentatively pawing the ground
playing with their fingers
talking about prom dates
and problems with boyfriends/girlfriends
always in the third person
they want to talk about each other
but don’t dare
disappointment reigns today
there are commitments
compromises
conflicting circumstances
and something passes away from them
as they stand helplessly watching it go
a word could change it
but the word was needed long ago
too many other words clutter the air
a garden overgrown with weeds
a phone ringing in an empty house
a tree a forest
and no one there to watch it fall
so it falls
it falls
crushing their hopes for each other
you watch though
and sigh remembering
other such situations
while they continue to move about in the stockroom
though not so much from the energy
of the present
but from what’s left of the momentum
of the past
and though they’ll move on to other places
the memory of what almost was
will haunt their nights
a lesson
you want to say
for the next time
but who can think of the next time
when the last time
still hangs in the air

from Steinway Street: portraits from the past: my life in retail: Stacy

/ zdunno03 / 4 Comments

Stacy

she’s seen Raiders of the Lost Ark
nine times
but that doesn’t stop her
from going again
it’s pure escapism she says
and you don’t ask from what
the men she deals with are boys
doing one sick routine
after another
and she indulges them
at the store
and at work on the EMS
handling stretchers and pints of blood
she knows they’re all crazy
and sometimes wonders if she is too
and though she tires of it occasionally
she does find it amusing often enough
to let it pass
like the jobs
that she doesn’t take seriously
yet she does so well
she surprises herself
even Mike
like Steve like Gerry
thinks her attitude is excellent
and Stacy lets it roll
she’s irreverent at best
at worst she’s telling dead baby jokes
she sees the humor in everything
so she can’t help smiling
as living goes on around her
she’ll survive the craziness
because she was born to rise above
and as she rises
she’ll shake her head
try to hold back the smirk
and watch it go
with an appreciative eye