visions of the past
still haunt my dreams
oh
so long ago
so long ago
and so far away
beating here deeply
in my heart
the past
on corners long since empty: for Joey, Kevin, & Vic
they met
on corners long since empty
of their memory
names chalked
on concrete pillars
under the el
faded in time
and the rumble
of trains passing
overhead
going toward futures
they never knew
nor dreamed of
lives as brief
as cigarette ash
or the candles
flickering in windows
of the empty houses
of their youth
to offer apologies
they come
more frequently now
making the journey
5000 miles
or more
that ocean
a continent
those weary feet
worn out faces
they come
to offer apologies
or to hear mine
spoken in whispers
during these long
sleepless nights
what’s not important
deleting photos
emptying boxes
discarding files
not obliviating the past
just eliminating
what’s not important
to keep
one more link
there they are
in address books
on cell phones
scraps of paper
stuck between pages
of books
read long ago
names sometimes
attached
though often
on those scraps of paper
missing
or incomplete
and one is left
trying to remember
faces
personalities
quirks in speech
hesitating
as one often does
deleting
those old phone numbers
putting off
‘til another day
erasing one more link
to a life
seeking solid ground
one walks gingerly
through the swamps
of the past
seeking solid ground
on which to build
a future
in my dream: my mother
there you were
in my dream
as young as you were
when I was a kid
and you said
you were letting the past
go
but I could not
release it
I reminded you
of that Chinese restaurant
you always took me to
on our yearly pilgrimage
to Macys
during holiday season
then you smiled
as you faded from view
and my eyes
turned to liquid
and my heart
melted away
that ghost
always there
that ghost
in front of me
old notebooks
reading old notebooks
rediscovering
who I was
on the way
to becoming
who I am
the picture
frozen
in time
to burn
forever
in memory
Leonard Durso 