there
in the ER
you shivering
that thin blanket
they could spare
covering you
no matter how much
my voice pleaded
5 hours passed
before your doctor came
and they wheeled you
behind closed doors
to die unseen
by me
your wedding ring
still clutched
in my hand
where you insisted
I take it
and tears
still cloud my eyes
remembering
Tender and beautiful, Leonard
May the dear lady rest in peace
Best to You
john
Thank you very much, John.
Awww Leonard. I’m sure her passing was made easier because she was so loved.
Thank you, Carly. She was certainly loved by all.
Sometimes poems are direct, true, unsentimental and very moving. This is one of those poems, Leonard.
That you, John, for such a beautiful comment.
This was gut-wrenching. Tells it so truthfully and painfully.Heartwrenching. Blessings!
This was gut-wrenching. Tells it so truthfully and painfully.Heartwrenching. Blessings!Debbie
Thank you for such a kind comment, Debbie.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
I understand this…
Few things do I remember with more clarity than the last time I saw my mom at the hospital before she died…
Yes, memories like that are impossible to erase. I hope your mother did not suffer in those last moments.
The ultimate rite of passage for us all. Until it’s our turn. Lovely capture, Leonard. Thank you.
Thank you, Jim. We all, after all, can’t go peacefully in our sleep, but at least hopefully without pain.
Yes. At the end, my mom and I talked about it. She wanted to go in her sleep. She got her wish. There are many poems I’ve yet to write about her.
You were fortunate in being able to talk with her and to know she went peacefully. Write those poems, Jim. You honor her that way.
oh Leonard……no words here……..
Thank you, Lillian. I appreciate that.
To die with dignity seems such a basic request but, it would appear so often not to be the case. We, as a culture, have so much to answer for.
My grandmother went with her dignity in her own bed surrounded by those she loved. Unfortunately she is the only one I know who went that way.
There is nothing like a mother’s love…heart wrenching words.
Thank you, Dorinda.
So sorry . . . I know you wished you had been at her side, perhaps holding her hand, when she passed.
I was lucky (if you can call it that) to be with both my parents when they died. And like your grandmother, they died at home in their own beds, surrounded by their children.
The whole experience in the ER was terrible. One feels so powerless. I think dying at home, like your parents, like my grandmother, is best.
Me too. When my time comes, I hope I’ll be at home.
Oh, that was heartbreaking, Leonard. The gift of her wedding ring was a gesture to meaningful for words. It brought tears to my eyes. I worked for years in hospice, where no one died alone behind closed doors. I hope the world is changing and these last moments come with greater peace.
I hope so, too. Thank you for those kind words.
Wow! Straight from the heart. Raw and real. No coaxing here. Well done.
Thank you for saying that.
So beautiful and sad 😦 Thank you for sharing with us Leonard. I too lost my mom and the pain still cuts so deep… May memories of your mother bring you joy and peace ❤
Thank you. I try to picture her dancing and singing off-key. Hope your memories are good ones, too.
Oh that’s lovely 🙂 Yes, my memories are nice.! I always picture my mom baking or cooking and always smiling 🙂
Those are very lovely pictures to have.
Losing your mom has got to be one of the most painful experiences in life.
Leslie
I think losing either parent is difficult, but when a parent loses a child, that must be worse because it is not expected,
Oh yes, losing a child would be devastating.
Leslie
Yes, the hardest, I think.
I agree.
Leslie
Lovely tribute to your mother.
Thank you.
Prof. Durso …beautiful words, I only remember the wake , she looked very peaceful and you were very quite most of the evening , Now, I know why… Not just the losing of someone you loved, but the circumstances…thanks for sharing… All of us at NCC, where there to pay our respects … For many of us, young kids, it was one of the first ones We had to attend in this country… Not an easy thing to do when you have left so many people behind, and you are always wondering if that day that phone call will come with the news of someone’s passing…It happened to me once, for an uncle and like you I am still heartbroken…
Thank you, Fernando. And I remember how so many of you came to the funeral. My whole family was so impressed and thankful and you all touched my heart. You are right to comment on how difficult it is being away from loved ones and wondering when that call or email will come. That is why I will be returning to the US soon for good. I have lost too many people in the last few years and it is time to be back, close to those I love, before I lose any more.
Memories can be so painful…and I couldn’t be with my Mum when she went either. Thank you for sharing
Thank you, Maureen. It is always hardest on the ones left behind.
i can relate. try to hold onto that ring and clutch it once in a while
I’ve been wearing it around my neck all these years now.
My mother died in a ER, ten years ago just this last New Year’s Eve. Your poem seemed so familiar, so parallel to my experience, even down to the detail about the wedding rings.
(Later, I wrote this: https://miscandsoforth.wordpress.com/2012/03/11/may-hold-hidden-dangers/)
As always, your words – so spare and so carefully chosen – conjure up many emotions. Thank you for that.
Thank you, Melinda. I just finished reading your piece about your mother’s passing. I see the connection to my poem. They could almost be companion pieces. Thank you for sharing it with me.
I think your poems are wonderful, so your suggestion that my piece could stand as a companion to your poem is quite an honor. Thank you.
You are most welcome. It is a truly moving, powerful piece.
I was my mother’s home hospice nurse those last 6 weeks of her life. I slept next to her each night. She died in my presence. Sept 19, 2012. I relive many of those days in flashbacks daily. It is disturbing but I am glad I did it. Mother died at 9:13 PM. She whispered to me two weeks ago and I played the Cash 3, 9-1-3. It hit. Pays $500. I bought five tickets. Thanks mom !
I moved back to live next door to my mother her last few years after she had her stroke (it is a three family house she owned). Did her grocery shopping, her laundry, watched TV with her, was there every morning, every night. Like you, I’m glad I did it. I would not trade that time for anything. It was a scant payback for all she did for me.
Both parents moved in with me in 2002. Dad is still with me. Turned 92 end of November.
You should be admired for that.
The mother of one of my fraternity brothers passed away yesterday. I’ll send this to him, and hopefully, it will bring some comfort. Thanks Leonard!
Thank you. I hope it does offer some comfort.
One of your best! Beautiful in a most painful way.
Thank you, Almond. That’s kind of you to say.
Unseen but not unloved… and the ring entrusted to your care, beautiful. This poem demonstrates one of the reason why I love poetry – so honest, such expression.
Thank you very much for this very kind comment, Florence.
My condolences on the loss of your Mother. It is very hard to accept the death of our loved ones, especially under such difficult circumstances.
She was surely a wonderful Mother and very proud of her son.
Thank you. This is very kind of you to say.
Wishing you peace and comfort.
Thank you once again.
So directly spoken. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
I can relate to this so much Leonard, I had a similar experience with both of my parents. They mean the world to us, unfortunately mean nothing to those who claim to be the carers. I’m very disillusioned with the whole medical and care system, it’s not there to help. I have a cousin who is a professional carer – she feels the same. If only there was a kinder way to leave this earth!
I hope your memories become less severe with time. I’m glad you wrote about it, we all need to understand we are not alone in these moments.
I am sorry to hear you had the same experience with the care providers for your parents. I was very disillusioned with hospitals, especially in the ER. I know they are crowded and there is often not enough space to deal with the patients but the attitude of the staff was really upsetting. I wonder about the motivation to enter the health care field for many of them.
I agree, it was the attitude I had great problems with. I know some nurses and doctors can be trying their best under dire circumstances but there are too many who really don’t give a damn and just aren’t seeing those elderly patients as human – it could be they’re own mother or father, but they just don’t visualise that far.
Sometimes when I hear of medical staff being attacked by relatives of the sick and dying – I just wonder what really went on to cause someone to do that. I found there was a terrific amount of lies told to relatives, and even when I caught them out, made formal complaints, shamed them, they still continued to lie. I just hope the ‘attitude’ changes one day.
The one thing I console myself with (although it’s not much) those medics will be in that place, one way or another, sooner than they think.
Unfortunately it’s not just in hospitals but in many places. The lack of patience with the elderly in grocery stores, on line at the bank, on mass transport, even walking on the street, always upsets me. People seem to not be aware of the fact that they, too, will age one day and will want some respect and consideration. If only everyone thought that that elderly person could be, like you say, their own mother or father.
Heart breaking, a sad lasting memory of your Mother. Heartfelt condolences.
Thank you, Mary, for your kind words.
May she rest in peace.
Thank you.
🌷
Beautiful, very present in that complicated and painful moment.
Thank you.
Very powerful and beautiful…sending you and your mother much peace.
Thank you for this kind comment.
Sorry to hear about that, lovely tribute
Thank you, Cindy.
May the sweet soul of your mother rest in peace…the lines are beautiful, but the note of poignancy is very much there…
A beautiful homage to the woman who gave you life. The only one. The Mother ❤ Breathtaking poem.
Thank you.
This was so touching. I don’t know how long ago your mother passed away but mothers always remain in our hearts. Happy Valentine’s Day. ❤
Thank you, Carol. They certainly do. And Happy Valentine’s Day to you, also.
Oh, I’m terribly sorry for you. The loss of the mother is always bring tears.
Thank you, Bob. January is always a tough month for me.
So sorry for you loss! It is alway so hard losing a loved one! Hugz Lisa and Bear
Thank you, Lisa, for your kind comment.
Hospital care givers can be less than caring and compassionate. It is very sad, the way they treated both you and her.
Annie
Thank you, Annie, for these kind words.
❤
Beautifully put!
Thank you, John.
Very powerful, Leonard. A story that is repeated all too often in so many places. But there is only one that will touch you as deeply as this one does. Wishing you peace at each mournful anniversary.
Thank you for this very kind comment.
You’re more than welcome.
Simple words, yet so poignant. It’s a very nice tribute to you mother.
Thank you, Shirley, for this kind comment.